Dear god, how I wish I had written this.
I met my soul mate in 2007. We haven't seen each other since 2010.
I met my true love last year & we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together.
Reading this literally brought tears to my eyes. My god, how the heart feels and understands the complexities of life & love.
BY NICOLE McARDLE
The idea of finding a "soul mate" is associated with a complexity of emotion that is best described in the simplest of terms.
Being with your soul mate just makes sense.
When you find this person, you just know. It's an instant feeling of connection and security. This person fits so perfectly into your life, it's as if he or she had somehow been in it all along. This is someone you can't imagine being without — a person who has the ability to love you or break you.
It's a love so pure and so strong, it consumes you; a perpetual state of calming assurance that everything will be all right.
For some, this person will be a lifelong partner, but for others, it simply cannot be. Not all of us are meant to be with our soul mates because, sometimes, being in love simply isn't enough.
Letting go of a soul mate is among the hardest things you'll ever do. After all, letting go means you're willingly ignoring someone who brings you incomparable happiness. This person is a best friend and partner, who, up until the breaking point, knew you better than anyone you've ever known.
By letting go, you're also willingly accepting defeat, and with that, comes the crushing thought of having to start all over again. Though it may seem difficult to believe, the realization that it must end and actually ending it will be easy; it's forgetting that is the hardest part.
Forgetting routines and moments is hard. Forgetting how to get through a day without involving this person is hard. Forcing yourself to remember that the other person has his or her life and you have yours and that the two can continue existing without each other is hard.
From this point on, your lives will run parallel, but will no longer collide. Accepting that isn't easy. This is the hardest part because, despite this realization and despite ending it, the love still remains. It leaves you wondering, "Where does the love that you've built go when the relationship is over?"
Despite what you may believe, losing a soul mate will actually awaken your soul. It will leave you with the insight necessary to learn what you want out of your next relationship, with what you're willing to put up and with what you'll never deal again.
There are many lessons to be learned from losing your soul mate. The most important is the understanding that an all-encompassing love — the kind that swallows you whole — is not always the love you need. This kind of love can sometimes be a hindrance that holds you captive in a relationship, which may not be right in other aspects.
In simplest terms, a love that's meant to be, will be. The absence you feel upon its loss, however, will teach you a great deal about yourself. You'll learn a new kind of independence; it will teach you not to remake certain mistakes you made in the relationship.
Once you've learned all you can, you will reach a point where this soul mate will be nothing more than remnants of love left, with space cleared for new love to come. You may never have a greater love than this, but there certainly will be a better one. And, though time won't change the fact that this love existed, it will give you the experience to help move forward.
As time passes, you may meet someone with whom you intend to replicate lost love; then after, perhaps someone who stands for everything your ex was against. Though it will at first seem inconceivable, you'll eventually meet someone who possesses the attributes you once loved about someone else, but this new person won't leave you feeling empty.
This person won't make you cry; this person will understand you in a ways you never thought to consider and will appreciate all that you are and all that your relationship is and will be. This new person will do what the other failed to do. This new person will not choose to break you.
This new person will choose to love you, to mend you and to show you that by letting go of your soul mate, you paved the way for true love.